They tell you they love you in their own way.

She called me today, told me about her day and the success she had on a French assignment.
She told me she hasn't been drinking soda and has been eating lots of salad and veggies recently.
She told me what she was planning on doing for the rest of the day.
Then she enthusiastically asked me how I was doing. Wanted to hear about my recent health improvements.

She's going to call me later today.
I feel really lucky.

Losing Weight, Nutrition, Exercise, Social Networking and TRAVEL!

I miss my daughter. I miss her a lot. I'll be listening to the radio, watching movies or tv and see something and think of her. I'll remember something really funny that was triggered by a song or a movie/tv quote, and want to call her immediately but I don't. I have been avoiding the want to curl up in the corner of Heidi's room and cry by keeping busy. Since January I have changed my lifestyle drastically. I eat healthier and exercise. I am able to focus all of my attention on food, cooking, researching nutrition and looking for decent exercise videos. I like being able to take my time shopping, reading labels and comparing fat and sodium contents to various foods. I wouldn't be able to do that if Heidi were home. She'd be calling me every 5 minutes. "Mom! I'm starving! When will you be home?" Silly girl. I keep her updated with what I'm doing and how I'm doing and she is very proud of me. It is wonderful motivation when she is enthusiastic about my weight loss (which right now is 25 pounds. Woo Hoo!) 

Cooking has been interesting too. I've been trying new recipes and new types of foods and I know I will be able to stick with what I have been buying and cooking because she is a healthy eater. It will be tough buying food for two again, as I have adjusted my budget to food for one, but it's only for a few months over the summer.

I've picked up some other hobbies also. I spend a lot of time on Twitter and Facebook. I also like to Blog as you can see by this one, although I have neglected it since December because I've been so busy with the things I mentioned above. I love YouTube, I have my own channel now and I Vlog about my weight loss journey. I enjoy making videos and editing them. I also keep a written journal and spend a lot of time on Spark People where I research recipes, log everything I eat and read weight loss blogs. I also have a blog about my 11 year long distance relationship (LDR) with Vernon Sexy Chicken Was Here... I put a lot of attention into that one and recently I have been asked to guest write on someone elses blog. I'm really excited about that!

The next thing on my list is getting ready for my trip to see Vernon. I leave in less than a month and I'm so excited. Normally I would take Heidi with me but she will be getting ready for finals. When I get back Heidi will be finishing up with her first year of college and then she will be home! I have lots to do to get her room ready for her. (I kind of have been using it as a storage room.) So much going on and I'm feeling better and healthier and energized and happy, but I could have done all that with Heidi here too. I'd rather have her home, but I'm so very happy she is enjoying school and finding herself. It's rewarding to see that I managed to raise such a beautiful responsible adult.

Jerk Ass Arrogant Inconsiderate Mindless Frat-boy Low-life Buttfaced Miscrient!
This is a link. Click on me for a wonderful surprise!

I miss you Heidi!

I'm Going To Have a Ba.......

Yeah, that's how far I got and she thought I was going to tell her that I was going to have a BABY! YIKES! Not exactly sure how that would happen since my Sweetheart is over 3,500 miles away and I haven't seen him since January. My goodness. What I ended up telling her was that I'm going to have a BAKING party. I've never done that before. I've gone to them at my friends' homes, but never hosted one. My girlfriend Heather is a wonderful cook and baker but has such a tiny kitchen now and my kitchen is huge and I don't really bake or cook, so I thought why not have a baking party!

We made all sorts of cookies. Snickerdoodles, oatmeal choc. chip, peanut butter balls, Cathedral Cookies, candy cane sugar cookies with peppermint frosting, frosted cutouts, Puppy Chow, and there were also lots of munchies like Chex mix, veggies and dip and cheese, sausage and crackers. Yum! Heather made Sloppy Joes which was great and kept us energized for the cookie making that we were doing. Heather's girls were singing the funniest song... I had never heard of it. It was by the Giggles and the lyrics went like this. "I've got the clap and I'm giving it to you, I've got the clap and I'm giving it to you, I've got the clap and I'm giving it to you, who wants the clap? I do! I do!" All night long we sang that song. Was so much fun!  

On Thanksgiving I spent the day alone. Had been alone in the house since Wednesday. I was a bit sad and depressed and I wanted to be left alone. Thanksgiving rolled around and I made myself a wonderful dinner of turkey breast, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, and lemon fruit pie for dessert. Also, thinking about baking on Saturday was keeping my spirits up. I was really looking forward to it. Spending the day with friends, I have not had a party in this house yet, and I've lived here for a little over a year. It's about time I think. I really had a great time, and I hope to do something like that again soon. 
Maybe New Years? Heidi will be here... hmmmmm, something to think about!  

Jammin' Out To Awesome Tuneage (insert Heidi's eyeroll here)

Music has always been an important part of my life. When I was a kid I would sometimes spend an entire day listening to Rick Dees weekly top 40 and record every song on my boombox cassette player. I would edit out the commercials so I would hit play and stop over and over again as the songs began and ended. I always had a walkman with me. Songs can bring me back to certain places: When I hear anything from Prince's "Lovesexy" album I think of a trip to Chicago with my high school Spanish club. When I hear Air Supply I think of my trip to Mexico my Sr. year. When I hear Sinead O'Connor I think of hanging out in the common room of my dorm at UW Madison. And when I hear Whitesnake I'm in the car cruising up and down Watertown's Main Street with my friend Ann. Sometimes music causes me to think of certain people: Jennifer Warrens reminds me of mom. I remember waking up on the weekend to her music blaring from the living room. I hear Hart and I think of my High School friend Gina, and friends still today. Red Hot Chilli Peppers remind me of my crazy college friend Nina, and I'm so thankful that we found each other again on Facebook. The Beastie Boys and LL Cool J bring thoughts of my brother to mind, and Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler make me think of my little sister. Finally, there are several songs cause me to think of Vernon; and just a handful of them are on our LDR blog, (Sexy Chicken Was Here) which is linked to this one. 

The songs I have picked for Heidi's Playlist were specially chosen. There are more that I wish could be on here but they were not available with the program that I used. Also, I hate that my international friends and visitors are not able to access the music. As I become more familiar with blogging, I hope to find better ways to customize them to how I want. Those of you that do have access to the Awesome Tunage on this blog, some songs will cause you to smile, and some will cause you to say "WTF?!?!" Well, that's ok because I know when Heidi listens to them, some will make her laugh, some will make her smile and some will make her say, "WTF?!?!" Because that is what we do to each other. She'll understand where my brain was when I picked each song, because she knows me better than anyone. Before she left for college she got me a "goodbye" gift of 2 record albums in MINT condition. Billy Idol 'Rebel Yell' and the Flashdance Soundtrack. When she went to New York she brought home a Dwight Schrute bobblehead doll. (Totally random unrelated statement) I have the coolest most awesomest daughter ever. We have our music and I know I've passed that passion on to her as she has impeccable taste (except for her recent interest in country music for which I will have to check her into a mental health facility and submit her to shock therapy) but I think I understand where that interest is coming from.

I can't wait to hear what she thinks of my music selection. I'm sure she'll ask me where certain songs are that I may have forgotten. But on a final note, she and I will forever laugh inappropriately in Church and other religious Christmas events whenever 'O Holy Night' is played or sung. Darn that Eric Cartman!

Do You Think Harry Potter Likes Green Bean Casserole?

I'm sad. I'm so very sad. I  had made plans to drive down to Kalamazoo to visit my sweet girl  for Thanksgiving and because of unforeseen circumstances I have no money for gas or hotel. I had to call Heidi to break the news and it was such a horrible feeling. I could tell I made her cry, she tried to hide it but I could hear her. She understood, like she always does, but it's still so very disappointing. I am thankful however that she still has family down there. She will be able to spend Thanksgiving with my sister and her family. She lives fairly close to Heidi. With the holidays coming up so soon there are a lot of commercials. The one that bothers me the most is the one for Campbells Green Bean Casserole. I cried the last time I saw one. She just loves green bean casserole. I was going to make it and surprise her; but now it will have to wait until Christmas. Not only does she love green bean casserole, she loves the way I make it. I normally don't get compliments from her on food that I prepare, but she goes on and on over my green bean casserole.


At this very moment my daughter is having the time of her life. What is she doing you ask? She is watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. She went with her suitemate and family. I guess some other friends are meeting them there too. Every time there is a new Harry Potter movie, Heidi would go to opening night in her home made t-shirt with all her girlfriends and they would wait in line at the theater for hours. Heidi would then insist on taking me a week or two later. At first she had to drag me kicking and screaming, but I have to admit, the movies are entertaining and the stories are creative. I still refuse to read the books, which is the same for the Twilight Series.

I'd have to say, even though we don't get to spend Thanksgiving together or see Harry Potter together, she is still my #1 and I think it has sunk in with me that I am hers. She is thoughtful and amazing and she loves me. She called me tonight before she left for her movie. She calls me nearly every day and I just love talking to her. But her calling me tonight before her movie just meant so much. She could have called anyone else. I miss her.

Starting month #3

Well, it has been a while since I've written in either of my blogs. I felt it was time I got back to doing that again. I have no excuse, just didn't feel like it. So what is different with Heidi being at school? I'll list them:
-I hardly ever watch TV and listen to my stereo instead.
-I eat less. I don't have to have food in the house or make any meals, not that I cooked often while Heidi was here, but it's less often. That can be a problem because now that I don't feel morally and legally responsible to keep my kid fed I put more of the grocery money toward the bills I'm behind on and don't buy groceries. I'll go a couple of days at a time without eating and then I start to feel a bit sick. Not ideal, but at least I got the water bill paid.
-I sleep with the hall light on and booby trap both doors. I feel uneasy living alone. Not sure why I'm such a freak.
-I sleep less. Some nights I'm up until 2am and that is on a work night. I don't function well on lack of sleep and when Heidi isn't here to tell me to go to bed I just stay up because I'm a grown up dammit!
-I don't wear my CPAP mask every night when I should. No one hears me snoring. Not good! I don't get the usual "MOM! PUT YOUR MASK ON!.... MOM!!!"
-I'm saving 1/3 on the electric bill. Woo Hoo!
-The house stays cleaner. Picking up the living room isn't a big deal but my socks tend to pile up quite fast.
-There isn't as much laundry to do. I'm not washing clean clothes or clothes that have been worn once.
-I get to Skype with Vernon every Sunday.
-I have nothing to do on the weekends. I usually hung out with Heidi watching DVD's all day, going to the movies, going shopping or just spending time together.
-I'm late for work all the time. I don't have to take Heidi to school so why get up early? UGH!
-I have no one to talk to about my day, when it's good or bad.
-I cry alot.
-I carved a pumpkin to keep busy. I come home and do nothing and it's depressing so I have to think of stuff to keep me busy. That was one of them.
-I had my photo taken at work and I had no one to help me with my hair or makeup. I hate makeup!
-I miss the bickering, the laughing till we cry and the talks. Mostly the laughing till we cry, and it's usually at my expense!
-I am going to school, taking one class at a time. It's working out great. I started a year ago. I'm on my third class. She was a big help to me on the Algebra front when I had to take my business math course.
-I joined a club at school and I'm thinking about joining bible study at church. Things I never would have done because of Heidi's busy schedule. I'm meeting some really great people.

-Other than Vernon, she is the only person I look forward to talking to every day. I love hearing her voice and knowing that she's thinking of me too.